Fritzner turns 8

Today, my youngest son turned 8. That makes one 11 yr old and three 8 yr olds. Some of you astute readers have kindly noticed that I look “so exhausted” and some of you not-so-gentle people have even busted out with, “Oh my gosh, you look awful. Are you tired?” Yes, well-meaning(I’m sure) observers, there is a damn good reason I look so bad, so exhausted. And it’s not because I am not sleeping, because I can assure you, I sleep like the dead. I am physically, spiritually and emotionally spent; mostly from the birthday boy himself. At any given moment, I am on the verge of tears. I have become a raving lunatic. I clench my fist and shake it at the ceiling all day, every day while begging God to help me or just come get me, either way. I really am trying to be patient. I try hard not to yell, or grit my teeth. I cannot figure out if this is just hard, or if God is sanctifying me, or if I need to be medicated. My guess is a combo. Anyway, thanks for noticing my exhaustion and I am so sorry if you are disappointed.

God help me, I love that boy. I do. He is a big ole’ ball of energy. He is loud. He is happy. He is so funny. He tends to lie. He is up at the crack of dawn. If you need a helper, he’s your guy. He is staunchly independent. He repeats himself constantly. He stutters. He gets uncomfortable if no one is talking, so he asks random questions that are not applicable, or that have already been answered ten times, or he just fake sneezes if he can’t come up with anything to say. He is my biggest cheerleader at dinner. Before he even tastes his food, he asks if he can have more. With his mouth so full and still shoveling, he proclaims, “Mom! Dis is right on!” He is an attention seeker. Any attention will do. He is loving and kind. He is argumentative.  He is impulsive and fearless. He loves to sing. At the top of his lungs. In a very high pitch. Using sounds, not words. He LOVES dogs and dogs love him. Except poor Oliver, of course, who has lost all patience and hides/growls at the mere sight of him. He is rarely in control of himself. He cannot sit still. He bounces, skips and hops wherever he goes. He asks questions all. of. the. time. The daily questions are “Can I have ice bop?”, not to be confused with “Can I play x-bop?” And, of course, “Can I have chips?” Perhaps my favorite thing he says is “And me too!” It does not matter what was said. Nine times out of ten, it is completely irrelevant to him. This does not matter. Example: Bennett says “I broke my leg last year.” Fritzner retorts “And me too.” He is quick to put his pointer finger to his head and say “let me see”, whenever he is caught in a lie, half-truth, or willful disobedience. He has perfected exclaiming “Whaaaaaa?” complete with arched eyebrows and innocent face every time he is called down for any infraction. This is almost always followed with, “I don know dat.” Some other favorites go a little something like this:

F- “Mom!”

me- “What?’

F- “Dance.”

me- “No.”

F- “Mom!”

me- “What?”

F- “You, you, you, you member you say I can play your phone?”

me- “No, I said you cannot play my phone.”

F- “Oh. I not know dat. Mom! Can I play your phone? Oh, yes? Ok thank you, Mom, I play your phone.”

me- “Fritzner, stop.”

F- “Mom!”

me- “Yep.”

F- “Can I take bike ride?”

me- ” As long as a big goes with you.”

F- “They don want.”

me- “Then you can’t go. You can’t go alone.”

F- “Oh. You say dat?”

me- “Yes, I say dat. Everyday I say dat.”

F- “I don know dat.”

me- “Fritzner, please sit down while you are eating. For the 14,000th time, SIT DOWN.”

F- “Oh! I don know!!”

F- “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!”

me- “Fritzner! I am talking. Please do not interrupt! Wait patiently for Mommy.”

F- “Excuse……. Mom!”

me- “Wait!!!!!”

F- “Okaaaaaayyyyy! I don know!”

F- “Mom!”

me- “What, Fritzner?”

(long pause as he searches for something, anything to say)

F- “Can, can, can I have some cereal?”

me- “Fritzner, we are in the van. I don’t have any cereal.”

F- “Oooooohhhh. I’m forgot.”

These crazed conversations happen ALL DAY LONG. Add in a few hundred reminders to let go of/put down the dog, get your body under control, stop purposely aggravating which ever brother and lower your voice, and you have a picture of a day in the life with Fritzner.  And just when I think I cannot take one more minute, and I am calculating how many hours until bed, he will stop his circus act and say something that stops me in my tracks. Yesterday, it went something like this…. We were riding along  in a local town on the water here. It was gorgeous. It was loud.  Another adult in the car suggested we name something God made that we like the best. I was busy calculating bed time. We all name something from the scenery…… I like the water, the clouds, the birds, the marsh. Fritzner was impatiently and loudly stuttering that is was his turn. When he finally stopped yelling, and had everyone’s attention, he said “I like Mom.”  This boy is a hot, hot mess. I love him. I am so grateful he is home for his birthday this year….. that he is home period. I am thankful to his Haitian mom for giving him up so that he could live, though I will never understand why she didn’t return for him once he was well. Please pray that God will grace me to parent this boy well in his eighth year and his brothers, too.


10 responses to “Fritzner turns 8

  1. Happy Birthday Fritzner, from Spencer, Cameron, Lisa and Greg. Go easy on mom, she needs rest. praying for you all.

  2. Tears, Laughter, smiles and hugs-Can’t get or give enough of those love bugs!! XOXOXO I love you and am here for you! Praise you for letting God be your guide!!

  3. Oh Kel, so perfectly said…what a BOY! I love him, every ounce of him. Happy birthday sweet boy. Try not to drive your mother or father or brothers crazy before this is all over. And Oliver…let’s not forget poor Oliver. He had no.idea. what he was in for. Much love to this one! We celebrate with you! xoxo

  4. Your words roll like nothing I have ever read. You may be tired but to me you have never looked more beautiful. Happy birthday sweet boy Fritzner.

  5. Kelly, Nikki and I would love to take fritzner or both boys for a couple hours a week. We have a new puppy they will love and if you are comfortable we would just play with them at our house for a bit to give you a much needed break

  6. I feel many of the same things about Garrett, and can TOTALLY relate about your emotional state.i have to remind myself every day (and sometimes every hour) that God doesn’t call the equipped, but He does equip the called! You have answered His call Kelleigh, and you will have what you need to get through this. It might come minute by minute, but God will provide!

  7. Thank you for sharing!! I have a little one like that at home and while I love to hear all the cute adoption storries I appriciate the carzy and exhausting ones even more!! Needing sleep, a moment of silence? I am in. You know I love my giggily wiggily child so much! We have a very patiently Labrador and even this big dog needs to be saved a time. All the best far away friend!

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